I just came back from the movie "Wall street: Money Never Sleeps", you know the sequel to the movie where the guy Gordon Geeko says "Greed is Good!" What struck me was the thought of what really makes us happy?
Awhile back the NY times did an article on this very subject and the movie seemed to reaffirm what it suggested: The desire for "things" releases feel good hormones in our brain much like candy gives us a sugar rush. However, once that rush wears off we no longer have the pay off but more of a let down which causes us to look for something else to get that feeling once again. The shopaholic is then the classic example of someone on a constant hunt for the next "high."
What makes us feel happy
But what really got my interest was their description of the things that tend to give us longer lasting feel good emotions: Activities and projects with significant people in our lives. It seems spending on leisure or services strengthens our social bonds and makes us feel happy, because humans are after all social beings. Or, as stated in the article only bees and ants have as complex a social structure like humans and neither of them go shopping. So if you purchase concert tickets for you and a friend, or plan a trip, or go camping with others we tend to report being more happy. The reason being is that we can continually go back and relive those experiences. And guess what? Our brain does not know we are reliving an experience and releases the feel good hormones.
What others discovered
The couple in the article, once they acknowledged this concept and forced themselves to downsize, won over relatives who once thought they were a little crazy. They took more trips or planned more activities, acquired less, and ended up with more money and reported being a lot happier.
Projects as therapy
It really got me thinking and during one of my pre-marital counseling sessions I gave as homework the assignment for the couple to plan an event together. They reported learning a good deal about how each problem solved, how they argued, and guess what felt closer after completing the assignment.
Take that Gordon Geeko!
4 comments:
i'm a shopaholic so this speaks to my desire for more clothes that will just hang in my closet for a year and then given away to a relative because I'm so over it now
Haven't seen the movie, but I do know from experience, money only eases the bill issues... It doesn't bring happiness- and if it does, its short lived.. I'd trade they money for a good relationship... I miss talking to an adult, showing love as well as receiving it... to me those are important, as well as being healthy.
loved this post... it really resonated with me.
Thanks!
Thanks guys for all your comments.
Been really busy and just now had time to catch my breath.It does seem that you all appear to agree with the study. I found it particularly interesting based on another study that said the average American only has one person to share a serious conversation. True, it is an average, but it highlights that there are a lot of people who feel adrift.
That said, we all need to be about the business of making connections because it is that human connection that keeps us sane and above all makes us happy.
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